Friday, 5 October 2018

Brian & Leigh, October 2018

     Hello! I had no plan to be writing from a cottage in the French countryside. But here we are, in the Loire Valley filled with chateaux built in the 1500s, doves cooing, butterflies flitting, deer rutting, apples falling, bicycling forest paths, cool and dry evenings, and OMG, the food. The food!  Here's how we got here:   
     It's been seven months since my last update in March. 
To catch you up April through June we were at the Saint Mary's, GA boat yard, working as hard as humanly possible to get the boat finished: painting everything inside and out (that alone was ~3 months), a new engine (how will I mount it? how will I steer it?), inverter, instrumentation, tank gauges, floorboards, galley, cabinets, lighting, lifelines, stack pack, window covers, shade canopy, propane system, rechristening and tons more. Scalding temperatures (it hit 100) and drenching humidity interrupted by historic rain. After over a year on the hard and 7 solid months of work, we launched July 1st. She's beautiful, functional, clean, fresh and comfortable. We're now lighter, simpler and more efficient. It was worth the work. If boat projects interest you, see video number 066 through 071 at https://goo.gl/eSwFu5
     I
've weathered enough hurricanes for now, thank you, so my aim was to get us to safety up to the Chesapeake for the season. The challenge in boating from near Jacksonville, FL to VA was waiting for weather windows between all the rain. The stuttering trip was wonderful, much more relaxed, being somewhat familiar with the areas, heading for our favorite places, knowing the weather, the approaches, the stores and the locals. We made new and renewed friendships with people and places. Especially Kenny & Rhonda in St. Mary's, Paul, Ann & Elliott in Dallas Bluff, Oriental, the Pungo, Richard and Brenda in Colington and Bob in Deltaville. If you'd like to see the journey see video 072 at https://goo.gl/eSwFu5     The plan was to explore the Chesapeake through October then head back to our home in Laguna Beach, CA. But we got an inquiry from France: Would we like to house swap from mid September through November (after the summer throngs are gone, and before winter) with the use of an apartment in Versailles (20 minutes by train to Paris), a cottage in the Loire Valley, and an old Mercedes? We'd be dumb to say no. So we hauled the boat early, just in time to miss Hurricane Florence. After a few days in the apartment in Versailles (Louis XIV's Palace), we're now in the UNESCO Loire Valley countryside. See https://goo.gl/maps/Q3rANPwAPEt  We'll drift between the Loire and Paris for the next few months, exploring both.
     L
eigh has been called to do more plant medicine work in the Peruvian jungle which is the headwaters of the Amazon. She'll be there from mid November through December. I'll spend two weeks in the OBX  https://goo.gl/maps/5LRVePkffS42 because I want to experience it in the raw deserted winter. Then a few weeks in Asheville, NC, getting acquainted with the scene there. Leigh and I will reconnect at 8,000 feet in Pisac, near Maccu Picchu, in Peru in January. This will be my first visit to Peru. We've rented a small village house there for two months. I'll connect with the locals and we'll do more exploring. Then back to Laguna in about March for a month or so to tend to our home. Then back to our boat patiently waiting for us on the Chesapeake in Deltaville, VA. Next spring we'll slowly wander our way up to Maine for the summer of 2019.
     Concomitant with the hard work and varied surroundings, internal shifts are happening too.  We've visited Manteo (Roanoke), Jamestown, Williamsburg, Yorktown, etc. in the US. And now we're living in France where history is everywhere and everything. I'm getting an understanding, a richer feeling for the 1400s, 1500s, especially the 1600s, on up to today. Power, spirit, art, expression, control, protection, opportunity, nature, nurture. How we got here: What was. What is. What could be. (We visited a dermatologist near Paris for some minor attention and paid ~$75. The same thing in Jacksonville, FL cost way over $600 two years ago.)  And where I want to be. Living for four months in New Zealand, then two months in Australia, and now almost three months in France is both enlightening and disheartening. It's getting clearer that if I don't want to be in the US, I don't have to.
     
I'm less inclined to incite people to experience what they consider challenging things (sailing, kite surfing, physical work, paragliding, hiking, traveling), to convince people that yes, they really can do it.  Everyone has their own path, their own time and their own fears.  I'm enjoying who I am more.
     
I'd love to hear from you. As always, let me know if you'd like to be removed from my list.Brian & Leigh Jacobs  

Friday, 16 March 2018

Brian & Leigh March 2018


Hello my Friend!

I've been in Gold Coast, Australia for a few months in a home exchange, rejuvenating after 4 solid months of boat work. I slept for the first 4 days here. I didn't realize how hard I was working and how exhausted I was.  Leigh was here with me for a few weeks then went back to Peru. We'll rejoin at the boat in St. Mary's, Georgia shortly. We hope to be afloat in about six weeks, sailing north towards the Chesapeake and beyond.

Of course we explored this small slice of Australia. We love it here!  Here's a video. Caught up on computer projects, videos, writing, taxes, sailing route research and such. And now that some volatility has returned to the stock market, trading has become easier, safer and more profitable. I've been working out often, getting much stronger, helped substantially by a naturally ketogenic diet. I'm now 66.

October to January was a long run of hard work on the boat, dodging rain and freezing temperatures. Got a lot going on: the hulls are painted, the flooring is done, most of the interior is painted, the galley is nearly done. I've wanted to learn about fiberglass, boat paints, routers, so many different materials and new skills for a long time. That's happening and I feel more competent and confident (with the boat on the hard, at least). Eventually I'll post YouTube videos on the projects.

We've made some wonderful new boatyard friends. People who have a vision and work for 3 or 4 years to manifest it: buy a big catamaran, or a steel mono-hull, tear it apart, and rebuild it. These are massive projects, full of failure and frustration, exposed to the elements, endless problem solving, toxic chemicals, costing thousands, noise, mosquitoes and very physically demanding. Yet they (we!) persevere. I'm inspired being around, working with and learning from these committed people. There are also boatyard people who haven't accepted that they will never finish, will never sail again, who haven't moved on. 

Boat yards are dangerous and alive places. A woman slipped off a wet stair, literally fell on her head and severely broke a wrist. I drove her to the ER. A few days later a guy fell hard off a tall ladder and broke a hip... ambulance... and a long, long recovery. In the boatyard we're all instantly connected by our mortality, the value of today, when someone is injured. I've had a few close calls, too.

There is a correlation between one's worldview and how much time a person has spent abroad. I've been to nearly 50 countries so here you have it with no apologies: Being spatially (9,000 miles) and temporally (16 hours) distant in Australia, keeping up on the news of mass murders, Trump, the GOP, etc. has given me a freshened perspective. Imagine (slowly, with a breath between each): a high standard of living, universal health care, no guns, zero mass murders since 1996, no TV ads for drugs, no TV ads for lawyers, roundabouts, no fear of being out alone at night, humane care for the destitute, no monster trucks, no death penalty, no homeless, no for profit prisons, 'least worst' prioritized voting, fines if you don't vote, no disenfranchisement of felons, few flags, few churches, low obesity, a large middle class, small income inequality and people calling you 'mate' and 'luv', All of that is everyday normal and ordinary here. I broke out laughing reading a headline “Men with a knife rob service station”. Seeing this, living here in Australia for a few months, living what IS possible on earth, and being from the US, is heartbreaking. The problems in the US are fixable... everything is... and I feel Trump is a godsend illuminating how sick things really are. So thank you Donald. We are now on full display, ready for healing.

Renting out our Laguna home the past few years was semi successful and had substantial tax consequences. There was scant interest in use of our home while we are away. The home exchange concept is working out great: we're hosting people from the US, Canada, Sweden, Norway, Australia and working on long stays in Vancouver, Santa Fe, Maui, and Asheville, etc. It looks like there will be more immersive travel in our future. We're connecting with people eager to share, to give and to receive. 

I've worked on 'wealth consciousness' for years and I've finally seen an undeniable shift in myself. I am at ease writing this from a huge waterfront home with a pool, boat, Tesla, etc. The transformation in me has been slow and long in coming, but is completely palatable. And there is no holding on to it.

Several people at the boat yard mentioned recovery from late stage (prostate and pancreatic) cancer with diet. I was intrigued. Diet? Their living, breathing proof got me interested in the subject. They (unknown to each other) both referred me to the same book: Cancer as a Metabolic Disease. It seems very plausible, and dovetails with the current Ketones supplement fad. I've always preferred eating fats, avocados, nuts, vegetables and such. Lucky, eh? Fasting is also mentioned in the book. The reset that happens during fasting makes plenty of evolutionary sense to me: the stress of no food encourages jettisoning unproductive cells. Leigh and I tried a 5 day fast before she left for Peru. I was surprised that it was easy, refreshing and invigorating. Who knew? Maybe I'll do it annually.

Leigh is continuing her plant medicine work in Peru. She spent the last three weeks in the jungle (near Pucallpa) living in a thatched hut near a lake with rain, mud, insects scuttling around, monkeys, sloths, and leaf cutter ants. She is now in a mountain valley (near Calca) for another two weeks. I've done two plant medicine ceremonies and each was a major life event for me. Each ceremony took my trust, vulnerability, strength, courage and a lot of integration. Leigh is fully committed to doing her work, day after day after day.  I'm in awe. Her transformations reliably bring me to tears. We're eager as puppies to be with each other again.

Leigh shared this quote with me: Everything worthwhile in life is won through completing the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it, quash it or silence it only backfires. The avoidance of suffering IS suffering. The avoidance of struggle IS struggle... Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life... if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable." ~~ Mark Manson

I'm noticing how much time and how many opportunities I have. Like when walking or taking a shower or eating... most anytime. My body will move or clean or feed itself pretty much without my supervision.  I don't need to be thinking about it.  That gives me lots of time and opportunities to relax, to feel, to connect, to be grateful and to smile.  I'm working to make it a habit.         

There's lots of new autobiographical stuff on the website/blog and new YouTube videos, (the ignominious voyage from the Bahamas back to Georgia and our road trip from CA to NM) as well.

As always, you're invited. We'd love to hear from you. 

Brian & Leigh

Sunday, 29 October 2017

Brian & Leigh October 2017

Hi!
     We spent the summer at our home in Laguna Beach, CA.  It's been 2 years since we were there!  Really appreciated what I think is the most perfect climate in the world, the smiling liberals, swimming in the clean ocean, hiking right out the back door, so many sunsets, and fast internet.  Ah, an easy life for awhile!  We also went to San Francisco and did a few hikes in the Sierras.  
     I'm wary of the stock market's relentless rise and invested a few hundred hours learning about selling options.  If you're geeky like me, this is truly fascinating stuff: calculable probabilities versus opinion, faith and luck.  I surveyed this topic decades ago and technology has finally caught up to make it easy.  I no longer feel like I'm guessing and at the mercy of the markets.  For me personally, that's a good thing!   
     I got a drone (it folds up!) and an electric unicycle (50 miles on one charge!).  Those two toys fit perfectly on the boat and are fun to learn.  :-) 
We took a month to drive from home to the boat in St. Mary's GA, camping and hiking along the way.  The  Escalante wilds, Telluride, Ouray, Great Sand Dunes, Pagosa, Taos, Espanola ('where cultures unite'), Santa Fe and then a dash to the Atlantic.  I've never really experienced the area around Escalante and love it!  If you're into geology like me, it's a paradise.  A rift valley!  Time is totally in your face there.  It is remote and empty with the darkest skies in the lower 48.  It is beautifully humbling.  I love it!    
     The boat is in a boatyard, near trees.  Again the hurricanes ran by us.  (This was our fourth one.)  Again we were unscathed, but only two miles away docks are destroyed and dozens of boats were lost.  Many of our boatie friends were hit (Puerto Rico, Marathon, Big Pine, St. Petersburg, Tampa, Pensacola, St. Mary's...) and most are okay.  The stress, helplessness and potential loss is a lot to bear.  We're thinking of keeping the boat someplace like Baltimore!     
     It is finally cool enough to be in FL/GA... timed it about right.  We have a long list of boat projects and the determination to tackle them.  Git 'er done!  This time we're not living on the boat and working on it at the same time.  Instead we've rented a quiet studio and 'drive to the office'.  It is so nice to leave the boat and boatyard at the end of a gritty work day!  We had planned to repair the boat and head to the Caribbean this winter, but the extensive hurricane damage there has nixed that plan.  Instead we'll work on the boat for a few months, spend two months in Queensland, Australia in a home exchange, then back to the US and take the boat north in the springtime.  We'll explore the Chesapeake, NYC, MA, maybe as far as Maine.
     That's the latest from us.  Leigh does Facebook, link below, if you're into that.  I prefer letters like this.  Either way, we'd love to hear from you!  And if this email is junk mail to you, please let me know and I'll remove you from the list with no offence at all.

Brian & Leigh Jacobs

Sunday, 14 May 2017

Presence-ing May 2017

I rarely send an update so soon after the last one, but there's something I want to share with you.  Skip ahead to the last paragraph.

I had the boat towed about 30 miles from Brunswick to Saint Mary's, GA.  The tow captain suggested I complain about the expense to BoatUS.  I did and it worked: covered, no cost!  Yeah!  On the hard in the boat yard, I (with the help of Jacques, a French Canadian) pulled the engine and drive leg, about 600 pounds.  For my boatie friends, here's the plan:  I'll put a 130 lb 20” leg (5” extension available) 25HP 16A EFI Yamaha OB on a jack plate with 16” of travel.  With both electric and pull start I won't need a start battery anymore.  Since it is NEMA 2000 I can install a second Garmin 741xs to display engine and fuel info.  No more analog gauges!  Backup chart plotter!  The old AC/engine coolant hot water heater?  Out!  I'll install an on-demand propane heater.  An Engle freezer will fit where the old water heater was.  A freezer!  Yeah!  A 30” pressure vessel for the 12V water maker will fit in the old engine locker.  The water maker,  incredibly, already runs off the solar panel.  The range/broiler/oven is old and nasty.  Out!  Replaced with a clean drop-in cook top and a small microwave.  If I had a need for it, a Honda 2000eu fits quietly in the old engine locker, vented out the transom.  The rigging is 16 years old and has some corrosion.  Refitting with Sta-Lok isn't difficult, so I'll likely do it.  The acrylic windows are shot and need replacing.  There's no avoiding painting.  I gave away the 18 year old PVC dingy.  A Stack Pack is, I think, necessary to see under the boom.  Even though I'm eager, I learned the hard way about working in southern heat, humidity and mosquitoes, so all these thrilling projects will wait until the fall.  :-(

Leigh's growth and healing continues to move and inspire me.  Here's an example:  We spent 3 weeks at South Padre Island, the OBX of TX, because it is about the best place in North America for her to learn to kite surf.  Kite surfing can be terrifying and is dangerous (and huge fun, of course.)  She's determined and progressing well, making runs in both directions.  We're sitting in 8” of of water, setting up.  She's harnessed in, arms and kite overhead, conditions she's familiar with.  Though nothing was exceptionally different, fear began to rise in her.  She started by breathing through it, with deep exhales.  More fear arose and she started to cry.  Then came flashes of anger, followed by more deep tearful sobs.  Soon her whole body was trembling, shaking, chattering and convulsing in the deepest terror.  After about 15 minutes it subsided and we brought the kite down.  She stood and we walked back to the palapa.  Later she shared about the experience: the posture, sitting on the ground, arms overhead, a much more powerful force above her, yanking her up, was the trigger.  In childhood she dissociated, but this time terrified 'little Leigh' stayed throughout the event.

Sometimes the triggering event is known.  I was on Maui, working with a guy in his 20s.  Years before he had nearly drowned in surf, and entrusted me to facilitate him in processing that.  We were sitting on a calm leeward beach where I led him in focusing and presence-ing.  We moved gently from the sand into contact with the water where he opened to the physicality of his fear.  Then into waist deep water where he transitioned from standing to laying in the water, lightly cradled in my arms.  His body erupted in free release with thrashing, convulsions and gasping.  After it subsided, we moved back to the sand where he sobbed for awhile.  After a few minutes of integration, he rose and plunged back into the water, laughing.

Leigh connected me to a gal in Australia assembling travel retreats for depression, abuse, anxiety, grief and loss, etc.  If this comes together, we could facilitate work this summer in Mongolia.  Mongolia!  What a kick!  I fractured a toe in South Padre Island have had to lay low.  So I learned a bit about GIMP, wrote more autobiography, and am studying the ToS platform.  The toe is almost healed now, so I can get back on the fitness wagon soon.  And, this is big for me, Leigh has begun selling her watercolors!  See www.etsy.com/shop/HeartToHandFineArt.  Leigh would love to hear what you think about her work.  She's also working to get these images on yoga pants. Contact her at https://www.facebook.com/LeighPresenceing, On instagram: @hearttohandfineart and @presence.ing or cell/text 949.415.9373  More good stuff.  Yeah!

In a financial Catch22, we may have to sell our home.  We'll see.  We'll be here, on and off, for the summer at least.  In the mean time, we'd love to share our wonderful pad with YOU!  Let me share more: Laguna Beach is surrounded by a greenbelt, secluded rocky coves and hosts a famously contrived summer arts festival.  Our home is at the top of a quiet 700' hill with whitewater, village, island and sunset views.  Walk or take a city bus to the beach, village, galleries, museum or art festivals.  Hey, I did a video a few years ago.  See 008 at  https://www.youtube.com/user/presencingly  There is nice hiking right out the back door.  We don't interfere or fuss over guests and want you to come and go as you please.  You'll have your own bedroom and bathroom.  We'll give you suggestions for places to explore your interests.  Make our place your home for awhile, a base for a break, exploring, personal work, or whatever you like.  Since we don't know how much longer we will live here, we'd love to share this beauty and our good fortune with you while we can.  Come!

Love, 

Brian & Dr. Leigh Jacobs

Here are a few of Leigh's watercolors:




 


Thursday, 16 March 2017

Presence-ing March 2017

We've been in Laguna Beach, CA since the death of my stepmother in November, scrambling with an estate sale and house renovation, sleeping on a bouncy airbed there. Both she and my father died in the house. In certain rooms I always felt someone else was there. It was scary. Sounds at night. Chilling horripilation. A vivid sense of people or things with unfinished business and foreign agendas, and they didn't want to leave. I kept lights on at night. Things improved after a massive estate sale. Apparently some of the spirits were connected to the stuff. The place is being extensively (real estate agents, contractors, fumigation, paint, landscaping, vacating to hotels...) redone and feels very good now. It will be worth it. Whew!

While in the house, saturated in spirits and memories, I worked on family genealogy. A fascinating documentation puzzle, organizing, digitizing, sleuthing going back 7 generations. I deciphered crumbling clippings, scrawlings on the back of photos, even tintypes into a five foot tall stack of plastic bins and discovered ..my sister died on the 67 day voyage from.., ..built his home.., ..was the first white woman in.., ..4 of their 8 children were doctors or dentists.., … had 16 children.., ...factory and store destroyed in the 1906 SF earthquake.., ..enlisted for WW1.., ..sold the car dealerships.., ..photographer killed in a flash flood.., ..designed the entrance to the SF Worlds Fair.., ..died of pneumonia.., ..married Jesse James' granddaughter.., ..Darjeeling.., ..government censored letters.., ..wrote a book.., ..died of alcoholism.. The work gave me a much better sense of who I am and the origins of the 'family stuff' I've worked on for decades. I got it all into a program with pictures, audio and video. I'm glad I did it. I feel more grounded now, for sure.

In Laguna 3% of the population turned out for the Women's March, compared to .3% nationwide. As a therapist, I know nothing heals without being revealed and experienced, and that is happening. Long term, say Paleozoic, I'm optimistic.  My degree is in atmn college, I worked on atmospheric photochemistry.  

Now say ahhh for dental delights including Leigh's surgery to extract a molar embedded in a sinus, our cleanings, fillings, crowns and an extraction for me. Highlights: still dopey on anesthetic, I helped Leigh check the engine oil. I had a crown installed on my birthday. I'm a strange one, indeed! Oh, the frazzling telomeres. Hopefully we're done with that.

Leigh's recovery continues to amaze me. The change in her since Peru is profound and permanent.

I've put a lot of energy and research into tax and financial planning, wills, trusts, dissolving my corporation, consolidating, reallocating and such. Incredibly, we've found a solution to Leigh's crushing student loan debt.

Meanwhile, the boat sits unattended in GA. You don't want to leave a boat unattended for long, but we haven't had a choice. And we miss her! By the time we get back there, the sailing season will be ending. We still have to move our disabled boat ~50 miles and get her out of the water. Let alone repairs and our intentions for the Bahamas, Cuba and Guatemala! And we miss our wonderful sailing community!


So the past few months have been a lot of busy and very necessary work. Cleaned and conscious. Getting ready for the next thing. I'm excited to see what happens next. Leigh found the word for it. Coddiwomple. Eventually we all share the same destination, don't we?

Give a call, drop a note or send a text: I'd love to hear from you!

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Presence-ing November 2016

My last update was February, 2016.  Quite a lot has happened since then!  

In early March Leigh and I got the boat out of US waters, to the Bahamas.  We did well for novice sailors, covering about 900 miles in 3 1/2 months in a loop from near Miami to Bimini, Andros, New Providence, the Exumas, Cat Island, Eleuthera, the Abacos and back to FL.  We experienced everything you'd imagine: so much raw beauty, new friends, crystalline warm water, all kinds of weather, repairs, fish, frustrations, successes, failures and humblings.  I can't even begin to sum it up.  Videos 041 to 052 at https://www.youtube.com/user/presencingly give some sense of it.  I also posted a YouTube series on Madagascar if that interests you.

We motor sailed the IntraCoastal Waterway north from FL.  The diesel engine, troublesome since the Abacos and despite my and many others' diagnosis and repair attempts, finally failed a few miles from our home port.  I'll replace it with an outboard.  We were towed the last 8 miles.  I felt exhausted and defeated.

So there we were:  At a slip in Brunswick, GA, mid June on a disabled boat, free beer and wine, punishing sun, heat and humidity fast approaching, and a long list of repairs.  The only sane option for me was to get off the boat to someplace terrestrial and cool.  I looked to the southern hemisphere (mid winter there!) and settled on New Zealand: a bucket list first world country, a favorable exchange rate, English speaking, and plenty to explore.  I rented a campervan and slowly wandered the country for the next four months seeing, well, almost everything on both the North and South Islands. I love rain, weather, geology, oceans, creatures, history and green.  A mobile man-cave was very healing for me.

Leigh was called differently.  She spent two months preparing with cleansing diets, art, exercise and yogas, culminating with 2 weeks of plant medicine work in Pisac, Peru.  Then back to the states for a week before joining me on South Island, New Zealand.

Leigh and I had been apart for 3 months.  We'd both been doing our respective work, in very different ways.  We were so eager to see each other, live!   
I can't convey the depth or magnitude of Leigh's transformation.  We were such excited children, exploring each other, the glaciers, fijords, spas, forests, beaches and loving the penguins!  A delightful 6 weeks of NZ springtime without agenda in the campervan.  (I haven't done any YT videos yet.)       
We're finally back in the US.  I checked on the boat in GA and it survived hurricane Matthew.  If the 10' storm surge had hit only a few hours earlier or later, she'd be lost.  The repairs await my attention.Leigh found a place for us through connections in the sailing community.  It is in the high desert SE of Tucson.  Towering 8,000' mountains and cliffs out the back door.  Cool, clear and dry.  Some good paragliding sites are nearby.  Oh, to get back in the air!  We may do some backpacking.  I'm now catching up on long overdue business, family visits and reconnecting with you.

The plan was to work on the boat this winter and sail north to Maine in the spring and summer.  There are a few moments that have profoundly shifted me: being burned, Kennedy's assasination, the first moon landing, finding the mangled body of a woman killed by a hit and run driver, 9/11, my first trip to India, working at Folsom prison, my 7th trip to India, and this election.

I don't know what's next.

This note barely skims a lot of ground.  But now I'd love to hear from YOU about anything and everything!  Sailing, living aboard, personal work, New Zealand, the high desert, boat projects, the election, paragliding, business, new adventures, all of it!

Brian & Dr. Leigh Jacobs
949.715.1400
Brian@Presence-ing.com

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Presence-ing February 2016

It has been 10 months since we moved aboard Presence-ing. This is a very raw life, living on the water. Everything moves. There is an ever present sense of 'adventure'. It can be enlivening, or wearing. Sometimes I experience things as simply a hassle. Right now we do not have a car or our bicycles. We either walk, use an Uber or Lyft car, a rental car, or rely on the kindness of friends.

If this is such a chore, why am I here? Why do this? My need is to experience life more directly. I need to feel life more fully. I need to be challenged to be aware of my situation and respond. In this challenge I grow. I need to connect to the elements. It is humbling. I see that I am so dependent on others, those that have gone before me. I feel gratitude. I want to give back. I want to help. All these things arise spontaneously because I'm in this situation of rawness, of exposure, of discomfort, of growth.

Am I trying to prove something? A classic battle of man against nature? No. This is about respect and harmony. Working with what is given (wind, waves, sunlight, water,), adapting what I have (duct tape, imagination), and the kindness, help and gifting of others.
I know that the near disasters (hitting a piling on the ICW, the anchor rode breaking in the tornado last week) are good for me. I see what could have happened, and what did happen. The imperative to be more here, more conscious, is being pressed further and harder. The way it happens for me right now is in this environment.

When I see or talk to other sailors I identify with our shared vulnerability. We're in this together. A community. We know what we're risking. For some, we know we must. We don't have to talk about it. On the water, life, and risk, is amplified. Concentrated. Eau de life.
We've been in quiet, remote, still anchorages, traveled in fog, been through a Navy base, heavy rain, 30Kts wind, saw a rocket launch at Cape Canaveral, mega-mega yachts, so many things. Please see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yApMdc_9sLE and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pix9ReExTmk

We're now at anchor about 350 miles south of Brunswick, GA and the weather is much different: often high humidity and usually tropical weather. We do feel the effects of cold fronts that pass north of us which can produce strong weather. A tornado touched down not far from us last week. It was a 'real danger' situation. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCzrHJ3bnPk . (During the first tornado we were docked. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzJuw51EwiI )

I recognize my sailing experience is not deep enough to competently handle some of the waters we want to get into. I've put out the word for experienced people (maybe some readers of this letter?) to come aboard for a number of days and teach us. Real sailing with wind and main and genoa. We want to practice reefing and furling and trimming and man overboard drills and all that goes into the glory, fear and exhaustion that goes into real seafaring. For the foreseeable future, nothing requires more than maybe 10 hours of continual sailing. And it could all be done under power. But the point is to extend our range and capabilities.

I'm still working, finding ways to give back. As you know, this letter, and the videos, is part of that. I hope some are motivated to act, to participate, instead of think. Life waits so patiently for us, doesn't it?

With love,

Brian & Dr. Leigh Jacobs